Advocate-Talak kar wane k 5000 lagenge.
Men-Pagal ho kya? Panditji ne 51 me shadi karye thi.
Advocate-To saale dekh liya na saste kam ka natiza.
Baniya : kal tumhare mayke jane ke baad raat ko chor aa gaye. Unhone
mujhe khub pita aur murga bhi bana diya.
Wife : to kya aapne shor nahi machaya.
Baniya : mein kya darpok hu jo shor machaunga!!
Teacher- Ladki ka paryavachi batao. Boy- Maal. Teacher- Wo kaise? Boy- Shashtron me likha hai ladki laxmi ka roop hoti hai, aur laxmi matlab Maal.
if a girl get 98% mark her response,
kamina 2 mark or de deta to uska kya jata tha,
if boy gets 35% mark he says:
check karne wala farishta tha yaar:-)
customer:Bhai sahab is underwear ki kya garranty hai?shopkeeper:5 v manjil se kood k dekho,tum phat jayoge par underwear nahi...!!
Kutte ko Murgi se pyar tha
Usne MUrgi se sadi ki
Thode time baad Murgi ne Khrgosh ko Jnam diya
Ye sb kya he?
AJAB PREM KI GAJAB KAHANI!
Chinese Larki KO Dekh Kr Mom Boli-Beta ye Kya Le Aye hO?
Santa-ApNe khud hi To Kaha tha k Ghar Aate huye cheeni Lete Aana.
Wife- Pados wale Pappu ki beti ko Math mein 99 marks mile
Husband- Arre yaar!
1 no. Kahan gya??
Wife- Wo hmara
beta laya hai.
Ek Boy Bike Se Ja Raha Tha
Ladki Ko Dekh Achanak Gir Gya
Ladki-Oh My God! Lagi To Nhi
Boy- Are Nhi Re Pagli, HmTo Aise Hi Bike Se Utarte He
Patni-Sasurji Ne Dusri Shadi Kar Li, Aap Unse Kuch Kehte Q Nahi
Pati-Q K, Unhone Mujhse Wada Kia H
Koi Acha Sa Rishta Dekh K Teri B Karwa Dunga
Principal : y r u late..all ur classmates came to class in time..??!!
Student :
"jhund me kutte ate hain sir......
sher to akela ata hai "
Santa: oye banta machli khayega?
Banta:nahi yaar usme kaante hote hain.
Santa: oye chadd yaar, chappal pahen k kha lena.
kanjoos baap bete se-:
meri dili khwaish hai ki tum bade hokar wakil bano,
son wo kyu?
kanjoos-:taki mera black coat tumhare kaam aa jaye...
Ladki Deo laga ke Bus pe chadhi, Ladke ne comment paas kiya 'Aajkal Phinayal ka Use zyada hota hai'
Ladki boli: 'Fir bhi makkhiya pichha nahi chhodte'
police to sharabi-:
kahan ja raha hai be,
sharabi daru pine se hone wale nuksaan par parvachan sun ne ja rha hoon,
police itni raat ko koun deta hai parvachan,
sharabi meri biwi
Beta: Papa ye SMS kise kahte hai or Ye kiske kaam aata hai?
!
Papa: Beta Ye VIP Log bhejte hai
or KANJOOS Logo k padhne k kaam aata hai.
girl-:teri yaad me neend udti hai,
chain khota hai kuch kuch hota hai,
boy-:doctor ko dikha lo swine flu aise hi hota hai,
Sante ki BV bhaag gai.
3 din baad wapis aaye
santa gusse se bola
"Hun ki lain aayi ain'
Preeto:
"Mobile da charger".
santa was playing Chess with his Dog!
Friend: Aray wahhh! tera kutta to buhat intelligent hai....
santa: kiya khaak intelligent hai,
5 me sey 3 to mai jeeta hun...
boss:pichle 6 mahino mein tumne kitni chhutiya li hai.kabhi bimari,to kabhi honeymoon,bacheki bimari.ab kya hai?
karamchari:kal meri shaadi hai.
. Snta College Ki Ladki se Bola
I love U!
Ab Tum Mujhe Bolo
Girl:Mai Abhi Ja K sir Ko Bolti Hu!
Snta: pagli sir Ko Mt Bol Unki Shadi Ho Gai Hai.
Sms
Tumhari pyaar ka sila
Har haal me denge
Khuda bhi mange dil to
Use bhi taal denge
Agar dil bhi kahe ki tum bewafa ho
To mere saathi
Dil ko seene se nikaal denge…
1.Gham me hasne walo ko kabhi rulaya nahi jata,
lehro se pani ko hataya nahi jata,
hone wale ho jate hain khudhi dil se apne,
kisi ko kehkar apna banaya nahi jata
2.Samja do apni yado ko,
wo bin bulaye pas aaya karti hai,
aap to dur rehkar satate ho magar,
wo pas aakar rulaya karti hai
3.Waqt guzarta raha par sanse thami si thi,
muskura rahe the hum,
par ankho me nami si thi,
saath hamare ye jahan tha sara,
par na jaane kyu tumhari kami si thi
4.Hum wo ishq hain jo dil bankar dhadakte hai,
hum wo khushbo hain jo baho mein mahakte hain,
humse pyar na karna e-zalim hum vo dard hain jo ankho
se chalakte hain
5.Ikrar may shabdo ki ahmiyat nai hoti,
dil ke jazbat ki awaz nai hoti,
ankhen bayan kar deti hai dil ki dastan,
mohabbat lafzo ki mohtaz nai hoti
6.Mohabbat me sath to harpal hota he,
koi dikhne se hota he to koi dilse hota hai,
maza to sath tab aye yaro,
jab judai ka lamha mahsus hota hai
7.Na chaho kisi ko itna ki chahat aapki majburi ban
jaye,
chaho kisi ko itna aapka pyaar uske liye jaruri ban
jaye
8.Gham ne hasne na diya,
zamane ne rone na diya,
is uljhano ne jine na diya,
thak ke jab sitaron se panah li,
neend aayi tho aapki yaad ne sone na diya
9.Har ek se achi baat karna FITRAT hai hamari,
har ek khush rahe ye HASRAT hai hamari,
koi hum ko yaad kare ya na kare,
har ek ko yaad karna aadat hai hamari
10.Yaadon mein hum rahein ye ehsaas rakhna,
nazron se door sahi dil ke paas rakhna,
ye nahi kehte ke sath raho dur sahi par yaad rakhna
11.Fasle mita kar aapas me pyar rakhna,
dosti ka ye rishta hamesha yunhi barkarar rakhna,
bichad jaye kabhi aap se hum,
aankhon me hamesha hamara intejar rakhna
13.Zindagi mein hamesha SMART log milenge,
kahi zyada to kahi kum milenge,
choice zara sochke karna,
zaroori nahi har jagah tumhe hum jaise milenge
14.Sabse loving kaun: TUM,
sabse sweet kaun: TUM,
sabse cute kaun: TUM,
in sab me TUM se zyada kaun: HUM
lekin duniya me sabse acche dost kaun: HUM TUM
15.Tum kya jano kya hai tanhai is tute hue DIL se
pucho kya hai judai,
yu bewafa ka ilzam na de zalim,
is waqt se puch kis waqt teri yaad na aayi
16.Aap ka ashiyana dil mein basaya hai,
apki yado ko sine se lagaya hai,
pata nahi yaad apki hi kyo aati hai,
dost to hamne auro ko bhi banaya hai
17.Zindagi hai nadan isiliye chup hoon,
dard hi dard subah shaam isiliye chup hoon,
keh du zamane se dastan apni,
usme aayega tera naam isiliye chup hoon
18.Sehmi si nigaho mein khwab hum jaga denge,
sooni in raho pe phool hum khila denge,
humare sang muskura ke to dekhiye,
hum aapke har gum bhula denge
1.Bolti hai dosti chup rehta hai pyar,
hasati hai dosti rulaata hai pyar,
milati hai dosti judaa karta hai pyar,
phir bhi kyun dosti chodkar log karte hai pyar
2.Aap to manzil ko mushkil samajte he hum aap ko
manzil samajte he,
bada fark he apke or hamare nazariye me
aap hume sapna or hum aap ko apna samajte hai
3.Leke hum dusro ki hasi kya kare,
jo apni nahi wo khushi kya kare,
tanha jine se behatar hai mar jaye hum,
jab saath tum nahi to zindagi jikar kya kare
4.Panchi keh rahe hai ki hum chaman chod denge,
aur sitare keh rahe hai ki hum gagan chod denge,
agar tere ishq mein mai mar bhi jau ae sanam,
tum dilse pukar lena hum kafan chod denge
5.Lehar ati hai kinare se palat jati hai,
yad ati hai dil me simat jati hai,
faraq itna hai ki lehar bewaqt ati hai,
aur aap ki yaad har waqt ati hai
6.Kiss is not like nokia just connecting people,
not like nike just do it,
not like pepsi yeh dil mange more,
but kiss is like lays no one can eat just one
7.Kaash dil ki awaaz me itna asar ho jaye ki hum jise
yaad kare use khabar ho jaye
rab se yahi dua hai meri ki aap jise chahe woh aap ka
humsafar ho jaye
8.Anjane me hum apna dil gawa baithe is pyar me kaisa
dhoka kar baithe
unse kya gila kare bhool hamari hi hai jo bina dil
walon se dil laga baithe
9.Kaun hai jo manzil se door nahin,
kaun hai jo zindagi se majboor nahin,
gunaah to sabhi karte hain,
humari nazar mein to khuda bhi bekasoor nahin
10.Kab unki palkon se izhaar hoga,
dil ke kisi kone mein hamare liye pyar hoga,
guzar rahi hai raat unki yaad mein,
kabhi to unko bhi hamara intezar hoga
11.dali re dali jisne bhi dali mujpe burin ajar dali ,
maine jispe dali ,logone wo dali hi kat dali,
12,
hours r too fast,
sec r too few,
but there’s always time for me to remember a nice
friend like u
13.Kaun hai jo manzil se door nahin,
kaun hai jo zindagi se majboor nahin,
gunaah to sabhi karte hain,
humari nazar mein to khuda bhi bekasoor nahin
14.Kab unki palkon se izhaar hoga,
dil ke kisi kone mein hamare liye pyar hoga,
guzar rahi hai raat unki yaad mein,
kabhi to unko bhi hamara intezar hoga
15.Nazroo se jab nazar ka takrar hota hai,
har mod par kissi ka intezaar hota hai,
dil rota hai zakham haste hai,
isi ka naam to pyaar hota hai
16.Unhone dekha aur aansu gir pade,
bhari basant mein jaise phool bikhar pade,
dukh woh nahin ki unhone hume alvida kaha,
dukh to ye he ki uske bad wo khud ro pade
17.Mana ye waqt hame yaad karne wala nahi,
par bewaqt he yaad karliya karo,
mana aapke aspas sari duniya hai,
kabhi hamari kamika bhi ehsas karliya karo
18.Nashili aankho se wo jab hamein dekhte hain,
hum ghabraakar ankhen jhuka leite hain,
kaun milaye unn ankhon se ankhen,
suna hai wo ankho se apna bana leite hai
19.Chandni raat main jab sara jahan sota hai kisi ki
yaad main koi badnaseeb rota hai,
khuda kisi ko pyar pe fida na kare aur kare to juda
nakare
20.Har pal muskurana zindagi hai,
muskurakar gam bhulana zindagi hai,
jeet kar muskurana bhi kya muskurana hai,
haar kar muskurana zindagi hai
21.Hum nibhayenge dosti marte dum tak,
hum hasayenge tumko gham se khushi tak,
aye dost kabhi humse naraz na hona,
saath rehna hamare akhiri dum tak
22.A child uses its thumb 2 chew,
an illiterate uses his thumb 2 sign,
a winner uses his thumb 2 show victory,
but a monkey is using his thumb 2 read this sms
23.Jab se tumhe jana hai,
jab se tumhe paaya hai,
har dua mein tera naam aaya hai,
taaki poochhu rab se ki yeh kaisa namoona banaya hai
24.Ret pe naam kabhi likhte nahi,
ret pe naam kabhi tikte nahi,
log kehte hai ki hum patthar dil hain,
lekin pattharo pe likhe naam kabhi mit te nahin
25.How can u tell the rain not 2 fall when clouds
exists,
how can u tell the leaves not 2 fall when the wind
exists,
how can u tell me not 2 miss when u exists
26.Aankhon me rahne walo ko yaad nahi karte,
dil me rehne walo ki baat nahi karte,
hamari to ruh me bus gaye hain aap,
tabhi to hum milne ki fariyaad nahi karte
27.Every tear is a sign of brokenness,
every silence is sign of lonliness,
every smile is sign of kindness,
every sms is sign of remembrance
28.To walk is easy but 2 walk alone is tough,
being missed by someone is nice but missing someone is
painful,
being loved is secure but to love is insecure
29.Some people have nice eyes,
some people have nice smiles,
others have nice faces, but u have all of them with a
nice heart
30.Phool bankar muskurana zindagi hai,
muskurake gum bhulana zindagi hai,
milkar log khush hote hai to kya hua,
bina mile dosti nibhana bhi zindagi hai
31.Tujse dosti karne ka hisab na aya,
mere kisi bhi sawal ka jawab na aya,
hum to jagte rahe tere hi khayalo me,
aur tujhe so kar bhi hamara khawab na aya
32.These are some of the romantic countries in the
world,
holland: hope our love lasts & never dies,
italy: i trust & love u,
libya: love is beautiful & u also,
france: friendship remains & never comes to an end
33.Jakham aisa diya ki koi dawa kaam na aayi,
aag aise lagayi ki paani se bhi bhuj na payi,
aaj bhi rote hai unki yaad main,
jinhe hamari yaad hamare guzar jane par bhi na aayi
34.Bhool jane ka hounsla na hua,
door rah kar bhi wo juda na hua,
unse mil kar kisi aur se kya milte,
koi dusra unke jaisa na hua
35.Laughter is the jam on the toast of life,
it adds flavour keeps it from being too dry & makes it
easier to swallow lifes sorrows
36.Kaanch chube to nishan reh jaata hai,
dil tute to armaan reh jaata hai,
laga to deta hai waqt marham is dil par,
phir bhi umra bhar ek zakhm reh jata hai
37.Log phoolon se mohabbat karte hai,
kaaton ko kisne yaad kiya,
hum kaaton se mohabbat karte hai,
kyunki phool ne hume barbaad kiya
38.Hum agar aapse mil nahi pate aisa nahin ke hamein
aap yaad nahi aate,
mana jahan ke sab rishte nibhaye nahi jate,
par jo bas jate hai dil me phir bhulae nahi jate
39.Nazar nawaz najaro me ji nahi lagta,
fiza gai to baharo me ji nahi lagta,
na puchh mujse tere gum me kya gujarti hai,
yahi kahunga hazaron me ji nahi lagta
40.Never search
ur happiness in others which will make
u feel alone,
but search it in urself u will feel happy even if u
are left alone
41.Kafi hai husn ko behlane ke liye,
mohabbat karlo dil ko dukhane ke liye,
chahe bhale pade gam se vasta,
ek hum jaisa dost rakhna sab gamo ko bhulane ke liye
42.Fiza par asar hawaon ka hota hai,
mohabbat par asar adaon ka hota hai,
koi aisa hi kisi ka diwana nahi hota,
kuch kasoor to nigahon ka hota hai
43.Pyar ke ujalo me gum ka andhera kyu aata hai,
jisko hum chahte hai wohi kyu rulata hai,
mere khuda agar wo mera naseeb nahi to aise logon se
kyu milata hai
44.Waqt guzrega hum bikhar jayenge,
kaun jane ke hum kidhar jayenge,
hum apki parchayi hain yaad rakhna,
jahan tanhai mili wahan hum nazar ayenge
By.Surender Singh Jangra S.M. Hansi M.D.G.
Jise koyal samjhe, woh kauwa nikla. Dosti ke naam par hauwa nikla. Jo roka karte they humein sharab peene se, aaj unki jeb se pauwa nikla.
Jija: Sali ji, aapke yahan ki sabse mash-hoor cheez kaunsi hai?
Sali: Jija ji, jo mash-hoor thi, usey to aap le gaye!
Ek ladka ek ladki k saath baitha tha. 2nd day doosri ladki k saath deha gaya. 3rd day koi aur ladki thi. 4th day kisi nayi ladki ke saath tha
Moral: Ladkiyan badal jaati hain, ladke nahin badaltey
Baba ji ka mela laga hai haridwar mein. Prashad mein Recharge Coupon diye jayenge. Kisi aur ko mat batana. Ye SMS sirf chuninda bhikhariyon ko bheje ja raha hai
Mom: Beti badi ho kar kya karogi?
Beti: Kuch nahin... Maan banungi, padhungi, shaadi karungi... aur kya?
Mom: Jo karna hai karo par zara serial order mein karna.
Wife: Kya kar rahe ho?
Man: Makkhiya maar rha hu.
Wife: Kitni mari?
Man: 3 male aur 2 female.
Wife: Kaise malum?
Man: Kyonki 3 daru ki botal se chipki thi or 2 phone se...
INDIA Ko
Aazaad Hue 63
Sal Hue
Phir Bhi
No PROGRESS!
why? Kyunki Aaj
Bhi
INDIA Ki
Bholi Janta
KAAM-DHANDHA
Chhod Kar
hamara SMS padh
rahi hai...
Mallika went to a swimming pool in a BRA & PANTY.
Guard: Madam here 2 piece costume is not allowed!
Mallika: Kaun sa utaroon?
Kabhi hausla bhi azma lena chahiye,
Bure waqt me muskura lena chahiye,
Agar 7ve din bhi khujli na mite to 8ve din naha lena chahiye..!!!
Judge: Tum apni limit cross kar rahe ho.
Lawyer: Kaun saala aisa kehta he?
Judge: Tum ne muje sala bola?
Lawyer: Nahi My Lord, I asked KAUN-SA-LAW aisa kehta he?
JOKING BY SURENDER SINGH JANGRA S.M. HANSI MDG
JOKS BY SURENDER JANGRA
Girl: muzpe shayari karo na..
shayar: ye resham si julphe karti hai andhera..
ye resham si julphe karti hai andhera..
Ho ja takli aur kar de savera
Jab raat ko baccha rota he to uski maa kehti he ki
so ja beta....
So ja...
So ja warna...
Warna...
2usra baccha kaise hoga?
Daru ki vajah se barbad sarabi ne kasam li aur ghar se daru ki bottles fekne laga........
1st fek ke bola teri vajah se meri naukari gayi.
2nd fek ke bola teri vajah se mera ghar bika.
3rd fekte bola teri vajah se meri bivi chali gayi.
4th Utai to vo bhara hua nikla, To bola tu side me ho ja isme tera koi kasur nahi hai
Husband- kya tumne mujhe kutta kaha
no answer
Husband asks again
no answer
He asked again
Wife- nahi kaha aur please ab bhokna band karo
Santa-Yaar Banta hum dono me kya Rishta hai ?
Banta-jo Besan or Pakode ka hai
Santa-wo kaise?
Banta-Qki jab Besan SANTA hai
Tabhi to Pakoda BANTA hai.
Jab mene dekha tumko pahli baar
Tumse karne laga hu me pyar
Tum rani ho, mera dil hai ek darbaar
Par tum kyu rooth te ho baar baar
Manaanaa padta hai sou sou baar
Phir bhi aataa hai tumpe aur pyaar
Pyaar vishwas pe hota hai nirbhar
Jab tum rooth ke jaate ho mere dilbar
Me toot ta nahi hu par sochta hu mere yaar
Kabhi jiyegaa dil dadhkan se hoke door..
Bedhadak khoob baar baar karo,
Aaj buss Pyaar Pyaar Pyaar karo,
Itna paya hai….kuch to loutaoo,
Pyaar me yaar…na kuch udhaar karo,
Phir kisse roz vaade karna,
Aaj ki baat aar paar karo,
Meri nazare jawab de dengi,
Puch ke naa sharmsaar karo,
Pyaar karna na jante hoto,
Apni bahain ghumavdaar karo.
Koi Magrur hokar pita hai,
koi Mazabur hokar pita hai.
Kambakht is sharab ko pine ke bad he
Aadami asal Zindagi jeeta hai.
